I’m really thinking that they need to rename this season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians as Keeping Up With Kris Jenner because, as in episodes 1 and 2, this show is mostly all about her. I think these truly inspirational words uttered by Kris Jenner at the beginning of the show sum up how we mere mortals can’t begin to understand how busy her life is: “I can’t even get a pap smear, I’m so busy”. Yikes.
WARNING: KEEP UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS SPOILERS AHEAD!
Please be aware this recap contains Keeping Up With The Kardashians spoilers for Episode 3. Please do not continue reading if you do not want to know what happened!
Somehow after racing from meeting to meeting (while still managing to fit in a trip to Costco, her favorite place to visit. Who knew?), Kris shows at Kim Kardashian’s house for yet another staged family dinner. The one saving grace in this dinner was a real-time appearance by my favorite Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian Odom, who was in town for a mere 24 hours to spice up Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Fortunately, we were spared any more of the baby daddy drama from the previous 2 episodes and instead were treated to Kris telling Kim not to wait for the very pregnant Kourtney Kardashian to start dinner and then watched Kris race through the courses lovingly prepared by Kim’s chef before zipping out to yet another meeting. (Do any of these people cook their own meals? Discuss among yourselves).
Kris races off to a meeting with Babyface to discuss forming a new music management company to meld his amazing talent with her amazing management skills. (Her words, not mine). She proceeds to blow off a house hunting appointment with Rob Kardashian (who is trying to buy his first house) and when Rob (at yet another family dinner at Kourtney’s house with yet another chef) proceeds to tell the whole family that all his friends who look for houses have a father figure to lean on for advice, you can see that Bruce Jenner is visibly hurt but when he tries, very softly and discreetly, to tell Kris how his feelings were hurt by Rob, Kris is so busy reading e-mails on her Blackberry at the dinner table that she completely tunes him out. Sensitive much? She then displays a lot of road rage, not just while she’s behind the wheel in a car with Scott Disick (who, mercifully, has had very little air time this season so far) but as a passenger with her 17-year old, just-learned-to-drive daughter, Kendall Jenner, helpfully flipping off passing vehicles, cursing people out and leaning over Kendall to honk the horn at some random motorist. Way to set a good example, Mom.
Apparently therapy has helped Kourtney show her more sensitive side because she stages a mini-intervention with her mother during Keeping Up with the Kardashians by first taking away her phone and Blackberry and then relating the comments Rob made towards Bruce. Kris, to her credit, is horrified at Bruce’s feelings being hurt and summons Rob to the Jenner compound to take his medicine and remind Rob how much of a real male role model and father figure Bruce has been not only to Rob but all of the Kardashian kids. Rob is suitably chastised and makes what seems to be a really sincere apology to Bruce. Nicely done, Rob.
And now to the other completely ridiculous and totally manufactured sideshow in tonight’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians episode, that of Kim and her many wigs. We get to listen in on a call with Khloe in which Kim talks about her difficult meeting with her attorney over her divorce. (Have you heard about Kim’s 72-day marriage? It’s all over the news. Look it up). Kim’s theory of the meeting is that “Someone just wants to make it really difficult”. I think she’s talking about Kris Humphries but I’ll have to check on that and get back to you. When offered by Kim the opportunity to say, “I told you so”, Khloe takes the high road and tells Kim not to stress by saying “We have amazing lives. So let’s enjoy it and have fun.” Unfortunately for us (and this episode), Kim takes these words to heart (and, apparently, to her head).
A quick trip with Khloe’s friend, Malika, to a wig store ensues and next thing you know, Kim has left with a big ol’ bag of wigs. We then see Kim in increasingly ridiculous wigs, each empowered with a unique personality that has apparently inspired Kim to talk in an accent. We get Southern Belle Kim, we get Russian Spy Kim, we get Britney/Kim and, finally, we get sick and tired of this foolishness. If wearing wigs was all you needed to do to wipe away any memory of your horrific marriage, how come Dr. Phil isn’t telling us this on his show every day?
A very tiny sneak preview of next week’s episode looks to feature a lot more Scott Disick, never a good thing in my mind. But 2 nights in a row of Keeping Up With the Kardashians has worn me out. I’m glad they’re taking a break until next week to give me a chance to recover from Kim talking like Natasha Fatale from Rocky and Bullwinkle while scaring poor little Mason Disick. Come back to us, Kim. We don’t like your alter ego wig personalities.
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